Things Just Happen ... Sometimes

Rejection, Annoying Inconveniences, and Dog Bites

Have you ever wondered why it is that at certain times in life nothing seems to go right? Most everyone, I imagine, has felt the sting of rejections from prospective dates, employers, or apartment managers.

Even my 70-year-old mother, who in my eyes is completely delightful and remarkably intelligent, once told me that she had been refused acceptance into not one, not two, but three book clubs over the years! 

Not my real mom but someone's mom, I'm sure

The reasons that are given for such rejections may vary. In my mom's case, they told her, in the first instance, that she didn't know the other members; in the second, that she didn't have enough education; and finally, that she'd have to wait until one of the current members died before being accepted.

It is this final reason that shines light on the true explanation for why things sometimes happen. Some things are inevitable. Rejection is inevitable, now and again. It is one of those things that just happen.

And as the case of my mom's rejection, maybe it was a good thing in all three cases and not just in the last (people die to get out of that club!).

Many times I have had what seem like, at worst, unsettling, and at best, annoyingly inconvenient, things happen in my life that I later recognized as blessings in disguise.

not a real Bhutanese border guard

One time, for example, while travelling overseas with my young son, I had to deal with rule-driven, insistent airport personnel who made my trip ... stressful, to say the least. In New Delhi, we were separated into "ladies" and "gents" security stations and there were several harrowing moments when my nine-year-old was out of my sight. Then, as we entered Bhutan, we got separated by a border officer who insisted that I go to one wicket and my son go to another.

While comparatively less stressful, this second separation seemed nonsensical and incredibly inconvenient, especially given that our entry visa was a single document. I had to go back and forth from my wicket, answering questions and showing our documents, to his wicket to answer the same questions there.

As I ran here and there, my mind filled with frustrated and angry thoughts about how ridiculous and overly obsequious the border guard was being.

Then, something curious happened. All of the $20 US bills I was carrying happened to be of an old serial series. (I'd found them in an old money belt while packing.) That is, all but one, which my American Aunt had unexpectedly sent to me as "spending money."

The boarder guard questioning me refused to accept any of the old bills and so I paid him with the new bill.  And the boarder guard questioning my son didn't even look at the serial number and so I was able to pay her with one of the old bills.

What originally seemed like an incredible inconvenience turned out to be the removal of what would have been a much more inconvenient situation had things unfold in any other way than the way the had.

the dog that bit my son was bigger and meaner looking

Sometimes, even when things are more than inconvenient--more than distressing--there are unknown reasons for why they have to happen.

While in Bhutan, my young son got bitten by a dog. Both my son and I were quite distressed by this event; he was filled with fear and I was filled with guilt.

To help us heal from this event, my guru told us that "sometimes dogs bite good people because they sense the person is in imminent danger." She told us that by biting the person, the dog changes the course of events and prevents the person from experiencing something much more serious. At the time, my family had been planning a trek to a distant monastery and our plans had necessarily been delayed while my son healed from the dog bite. There is no way of knowing what might have happened had the dog not bitten my son, had we not been delayed and had instead proceeded to go on the trek we had planned. Perhaps something more serious had been prevented ... in which case the dog bite can be seen as a blessing!

Who's to know whether or not any event that occurs is "good" or "bad"? Maintaining a state of acceptance, with perhaps a pinch of wonder, helps to keep down the stress level when things happen that make us feel as if nothing is going "right". Everything is truly just as it should be!

For further stories and insights, 
see The Land of Happiness: Reflections on a Journey, which can be found on my Author's Spotlight  Thank you!